Holiday

I am long for another holiday. I don't care if it is paid or unpaid. I just want to have two weeks off and catch up on whatever.

Spy-der

So finally I met him.

I know there are a lot of spiders from an article I read. But I didn't realize there are so many of them until I came to New Zealand. They are everywhere. Everywhere! Once my colleague gave me a ride. And I noticed a big web covering his side mirror. I remember asking him "how often do you wash your car?". That was supposed to be a joke as it's hard for me to understand how that happened. I did not drive at that time.

Now I own a car. And the same thing happened to me. Since a few months ago, I started getting this annoying web. I've never really thought about it too much. Just wiped it off when I saw it and it kept coming back. One day, I had a passenger and we started talking about it. I told him there must be a spider living behind my mirror and it would be the reason why the web always comes back on the same mirror and sometimes it could be as quick as overnight. My passenger is a smart guy. "Maybe it is a double side mirror. The spider is looking at us right and laughing about our conversation". That scares me. It is a spy.

Finally, I decided to do something about it. I took my fly spray. I sprayed on the gap around the mirror. Nothing happened. After all, there are a lot of space behind the mirror. I started the car to get my grocery. Maybe this is not the best way. I was thinking. Maybe I should use a stick or something. But suddenly, something black appeared on my mirror. It was him! He was huge like a soy bean. He had strong but short legs. He was in deep panic. I could see he did not what to do next. Just a second, he felled down to the street. He is gone...

I spend at least an hour in my car everyday. He lived behind the mirror for almost half year. We are no more than one metre away from each other. Yet we only met once. And that was when I killed him.

I do not want to rent my mirror out to another spider. But I do feel bad about what happened. So lest I forget.

The best show?

America is a great country and one of the things that make her great is the how everyone’s vote counts. I really should be the last person to care about America election. But, it is so interesting and I just could not be cool with it. One woman and one black guy. Either of them is elected would break the glass ceiling. However, I do have a favourite. I like Hillary. I don’t know much. But I do know she has dedicated her life to Americans. She has plans and she knows them inside out. In contrast, I really feel Obama is just a great speaker. He must be brilliant to get so much support. But all I know about him is from those youtube clips I watched. I can see what a wonderful speaker he is. And obviously he is a great writer too (just check out the speech he gave in that convention before he was elected to senator). But what makes me feel he might not be as good as Hillary is … he is just a great speaker. In those debates, he chokes a lot. He has problem to get his views straight out without interruption. It actually makes me feel very uncomfortable when he talks in debate. I know some people have problems to speak because of certain illness. But I don’t think Obama is one of them. Comparing how great he is when there is a speech prepared to how bad he is when he has to come up with what to say (and smart) in real time, I think it is nature to ask whether or not he really knows what he is talking about. If I have worked on something important and carefully reached a plan, I would be very confident about any decision I made. So it is really easy to think he does not really know his plans inside out. But Hillary is such a star when talking about her plans. She knows her stuffs inside out and you can see how she replies without hesitation.

But it is too bad. People wants to change and Obama represents such a good change. Like something I read, Obama to voter is like a first date. One would not want to ask too much to destroy a good image. What would be a better candidate than one who is charming with a fresh history and who might break the biggest race challenge. What is even worst for Hillary is that her advantage, her experience, might not be that convincible. Whoever goes to the white house would be able to do a ok job as there are so many smart people around to help. Besides there is no chance to people to see both situations. Anyway, no matter how they try to make voter to think who would do the right person for the job, impression plays a big part in how regular people makes decisions.

I think I have to try not to care too much about their election. After all, there is nothing I could do about it. Just a reality show to me!

If you have only one day left...

This is not a new question. I have seen it so many times. This question reminds us life is unpredictable. There is not always a tomorrow. So do what you want to do now and leave no regret in the future. But the truth is we always assume there is a tomorrow. That is why an accident is called “accident”, isn’t it? Sometimes we leave plans undone because we feel lazy; sometimes we leave plans undone because we live in a real world and there are other boring but important things to do first. It takes some effort to act on one’s dreams. And after all, this question is just hypothesis.

A few weeks ago, I heard Randy Pausch’s story. So this question became his reality. He has only less than six months’ healthy life left. I admire his braveness to face his fate. He decided to live his life fullest for the rest of his time. He decided to build a good memory for his children. He decided to play the card and not complain about the dealer. When watching his speech, it is hard to link him with a dying patient. He is so active and funny. He has the aliveness most of us don’t have. It is a shame that a person who has created so much in his past has no more while those famous celebrities who have everything but only know how to drug themselves to escape “pressure”.

Since last June, I started doing some volunteer work on Saturday. That is a special Olympic Tenpin bowling program for people with special needs. One of the organizers was an old lady. Her daughter is one of the athletes. She was such a nice lady and thanked me every time when I finished. After the last game before Christmas last year, we had a prize giving party in a church. She asked me to come because “it would not be the same without you”. But it was too bad that I did not write down the detailed address. I was a bit busy that day. So finally decided to skip it. Last week was the first game in 2008. Three days before the game, I got a call and another volunteer told me she had passed away. Well, she was old and it was not really a big surprise. But still, it is hard to imagine someone whom you remember so lively has gone. Think about her life, I feel she has made difference to so many people’s life. She was involved in this program for almost twenty years. She is part of this program and she will always be remembered by everyone of us. She might have gone. But she left a great program for her daughter and all others to feel excited about every Saturday morning. I salute her!

Everyone has the right to live the way she/he wants. But I would feel guilty …

A sunburn story

On New Year’s day, I went for a run wearing a singlet. It was a nice sunny day. The weather forecast said it was 22 degrees centigrade or something like that. I don’t normally wear singlet. I always prefer t-shirt for some reason. The run was about 8 K and it took me about 45 minutes in a slow pace. A few hours later, I found out my shoulders got sunburned. Looking at my reflection in the mirror with a clear impression of the singlet, I remembered another sunburn which happened Xmas last year.

During Xmas and New Year holiday last year, I took a trip around South Island. By Christmas eve, we arrived Marahau. We stayed in a small farm/hostel next to Abel Tasman national park. So on Christmas day, I and another two travellers went on a short explore to the national park in the morning. One thing need to be pointed out is the weather around that period was not so great. It was raining most of the time before New Year’s Day. Christmas day was the only day with the perfect sun.

Hunger brought us back to the hostel at lunch time. After lunch, while my new friends decided to rest a bit in their room, I decided to just relax on the open field. I don’t normally go out shirtless. So I had never used sunscreen before. However, I tried to get all skin on my front protected and then laid on grass. Half an hour passed and I thought it was the time to turn around. Spray sunscreen on one’s back without help was not easy. I tried to get the lower part of my back covered and then had trouble to do the upper part easily. What was the point to do it anyway? I asked myself. I had been exposed my front under sun for half an hour and I did not feel anything. I did not think the sunscreen actually did anything. I remembered from FRIENDS where Ross told his new student girl friend that those sunscreen was essentially just milk. I sprayed the sunscreen on one shoulder and rubbed a little bit and then sprayed on another shoulder without even bothering to rub it. I laid on my stomach for about ten minutes before my friends came. Then we went to a river close by. When I took off my shirt and went for a swim, my friend noticed I got sunburned on my back. No big deal! I thought myself. I did not feel anything. Well, next day I learned how sunburn could become worse after a night’s sleep. Especially the next morning, I went for tandem skydiving. The harness works very well with my new sunburn and it never left me alone during my 13,000 feet skydiving.

When I looked my sunburn in the mirror, I was fully convinced how well those sunscreen works. I felt it was something not to be wasted. So a picture for everyone of you who are stupid as me.

There is nowhere like home

One evening I passed this tree at Takapuna. There was no way not to notice it as there were like a thousand sparrows in it and they made it a very noisy tree. Look closer, I could see it was really overcrowded and each sparrow only had tiny space. It reminded me about home. Nothing is like home that we complain and love. So I took this picutre.

I have been away from my family for so many years. Before that I was trying to get away from it. But home is more than a house. I took my home with me. And deep inside, it always has the most innocent spot.

The Memory of Running

I am lucky to read a few good books recently. The Memory of Running is one of them.

Smithy Ide is a big loser. He is 43 years old and fat (279 pounds). He lives in an apartment he does not like since he moved in there. He works as an inspector in a toy factory. His work is easy: see if the palm of the toy is facing the right way. He did not go to college and went to army instead. However, he did not even fire his weapon before he was sent back because of the injury he got when peeing outside at a wrong time. His life is easy: eat junk food, drink, and smoke. He has only been with woman three times before the story starts and they were prostitutes.

Who wants to know somebody like Smithy?

But Smithy actually is a very nice guy. His parents died at the beginning of the book. He held his father’s hand in hospital even his father was not a hand-holding kind person. His parents were treated at different hospitals. After his father died, he went to his mom’s hospital. He told her he would be away for a couple of days and lied that his father was ok though her mother was in a coma. However, she died before he left.

A person doesn’t get over a family.

Sometimes things happen that make a person feel like standing up is just too much. It’s the knee then. Legs. Heart. I put my face under Mom’s until I could stand up.

After the funeral, back to his parent’s house, he found a few mails. One of them informed that a body has been identified as his sister’s according to the dental record his father sent. His sister was a beautiful girl who heard voice and followed the voice’s demands to disappear and pose at random places for random period of times. And by law, the family member need to collect the body. Last time his sister disappeared was 27 years ago.

Smithy was a runner and that was how he searched for his sister. Later his father bought him a bike so that the search could be more efficient. Now he was not a runner anymore. But he suddenly had the urge to ride his bike again. Just like that, he started his journey. At the beginning, he did not really know where he would go. But then he made plan to go to LA to collect his sister’s body.

During his trip, he met a lot of nice people. And sure, also not-so-nice people. He recalled his early life when he cared so much about his sister. And he rebuilt his relationship with the neighbour girl Norma, who was very close with his family until she was hit by a car and oddness somehow drifted them apart. At the end, he made to LA and saw his sister one last time.

This book does not offer any drama. It is just memory and it is told in a plain kind of way. What attracts me is Smithy’s personality. He is such a nice guy. He is defenceless. He always sees other’s kindness and always forgives for other’s rudeness and disrespect. He is such a lonely guy and has no friends. During the ride, he would talk to himself, out loud. He rides bike all day long and eat mostly fruits and water. When he found out he lost about 50 pounds, he said to himself “losing weight”. He was misunderstood by others and he has never tried to defend himself. Even when he was hit by a pickup truck but the hospital admitted the driver who was a regular patient and therefore was assumed to be the one with problem. He had to take care of the driver afterwards and then got beaten up by police who thought he was a bad drifter. He does not complain. So no one knows what he felts. He always appreciates others good gesture but has trouble to find a way to express. Once he had no money and had to get his bike fixed. So he offered all his stuffs in exchange. But the repair person only took a bag. He felt so thankful and also sorry about the repair person losing his son in an accident years ago. So after he left and along on the road again, he prayed and said out loud it was for his son. In his young life, he put all his heart on his sister even his sister made up bad stories about him and told them to her psychiatrist. During the journey, he kept seeing the visions of his sister and sometimes his parents. Of course it is just in his imagination. But he is such a caring person!

I don’t know much about a good book. But I know I enjoy this one and I sincerely care about the characters from the story. I guess it is enough to make it a wonderful book. I know it is fake. But still, I hope Smithy has a great life ever after.

Good bye, 2007!

I found a list I made at the beginning of 2007. It is sort of a resolution. I think it was made at the end of January. It looks like I actually have achieved some of them. But sadly, I also failed a few of them, which are quite important ones.

1. Achieve good academic grades:

Too bad that it is one of those I did not make it. I was hoping I could get averyage A for all four papers. Two of them are supposed to be easier: 734 and 711 (these two are thought be to be .NET coding papers and normally it is easier to get better grades in such papers). The other two paper, 732 and 742, are thought to have a lot of reading and writing. So my expectation is lower. Now I have two points less than average A level (That is average A-). I think my biggest failure is 711. I did not get into study mood quick enough at that semester. I remember how I finished its first assignment less than five minutes before the due time and how I worked with my assignment partner till midnight a couple days before the due date of assignment two. But then I got almost full for the first one and full marks for the second one. So I was back on track and I only need to perform good at final exam which I had enough time to prepare. But my lazy bones…

Anyway, what all these mean I have to work harder in 2008 as I need average A level to get my honours degrees. Next year, I would have to a little better than average A level to spare some points to my work in 2007.

2. Do some work to improve my English:

I actually had very specific plans. But the only thing I did was trying to read more. But it has only happened since later 2007. I did enjoy some books I read this year and I feel I am getting back to my “reading shape”. But I need to do a lot of formal studying and training for my English. Especially I will have a long dissertation to write and maybe a million papers to read in 2008.

3. Participate in at least one volunteer work:

This is one of the things I actually did! Yes! First half of 2007, I was in a very bad situation. But I tried to pull myself together and started working for North Harbour Special Olympic since June. My job was to look after the bowling game at Saturday (enter athlete’s name, remind turns, record scores, etc). It is really wonderful feeling to help others. There are another two long term volunteers and they get on very well with all athletes. They are the stars! They made jokes and they made people laugh all the time. But I was just as quiet as normal. So I did not think I left an impression or anything. But after a few weeks away due to my exams, I got a big applause when I showed again. I also helped on Farmer’s Santa parade this year. Last year I had to skip it as Hao got married at the very same day. But anyway, it was not that exciting. I was in charge of water station. But there were only six boxes of them and all were gone more than one hour before the parade. I tried to pick up empty bottles as instructed in my letter. But then an unidentified woman told me not to do that because cleaner would pick them up. So I basically got nothing to do. a few days ago, I also helped Volunteer Auckland for the fund raising at Sylvia Park shopping mall. We had gift wrapping stations and wrapped gifts for gold coin donations. But a lot of people think that was for free and a few even complained it was too expensive when I told them it was for a charge. One particular woman complained I was too slow and asked if she could wrap herself on another station where the volunteer is away. That was a bit odd. I don’t suppose she would complain that to a food stall and ask to cook herself in their kitchen. Then later she was told each package required a coin donation by the other volunteer and she said I did not charge that much to others. I doubt she could see how much money each put in our cups. Anyway, to be honest, it was not very pleasant.

4. Sponsor a child:

This is another thing I actually did. But I did not do that until I changed to another job with better pays. But I feel very guilty that I did not reply my child’s letter in time. I actually replied his first letter almost half year later. I kept picturing that poor boy waiting for a letter while his friends all have letters from their sponsors. So I promised to write him in time next time. Actually it was not that hard because we are not encouraged to write a lot as the translations resource is limited. Speaking of that, I really should send him something for the new year. Too bad he will not get that until a few months later. but I should do that anyway. (mental note: do it when I am out next time)

5. Play a racket game:

Now I started playing badminton! Badminton is one of the things I have wanted to do for a very long time. But back in China, there is no convenient facility or players. I am glad that finally I have done it though I was not good at all. I am quite jealous how others improve themselves quickly and I am still at the lowest grade and could not do smash properly. I guess it takes time and confidence.

6. Swim:

I guess what I meant is to swim properly and possibly free style. But I did not swim that much this year and it is quite embarrassing to learn free style at my age in swimming pool. I dream to have the confidence to swim in ocean. I remember how those people at Takapuna Summer Series swam from Takapuna beach to Rangitoto island. That is the ability I want! But I can’t see how I can get there under current circumstance. I think I am too uptight in swimming pool where so many people are around. This is something hard to overcome as it is in my personalities.

7. In terms of career, do some coding practise at my own time and participate in more web community activities:

I did not do much for these too. However I got my MCTS in Web Application this year (it is funny that I will start working on something other than web right after I got it). I still think it is very important to do those things but it was not that easy to balance work and study at the same time. And sometimes it requires a lot of time to get into the mood. I think this will be the key point if I want to achieve good grades next year. I need to find a mind switch!

8. Create a blog or website:

This one… too ashamed to talk about…

9. Half marathon:

This is the last on my list and I am happy to say I have done this one though it was not very good. After running for almost two years, I should have finished the half marathon better. My plan was to finish it no slower than 1 hour 45 minutes (so 5 minutes per kilometre in average). But my result was almost 2 hours. My excuse was I did not run for almost a month right before the race due to my study. Another excuse is I did not realize how important running gear is. I felt all sort of pain during the run (I had one test run about three days before the race which was after almost a month with no training at all). I was basically ten minutes slower than I expected and the ten minutes’ delay happened in the first 10K. I think I could get to the pace I planned if I have a bit more training. I might do another half marathon next year (maybe just run without paying for it J).

So this is my 2007. I had a very hard time in the first half of 2007. But now looking back, it does not seem so bad after all. I guess time is relative. Depending which time spot one stands, a bad thing could turn into good somehow.

Time is nothing

I wonder what Henry was thinking when he taught Clare cooking. Yes, the ketchen bench is too high for him to cook on wheelchair. He has been the cook since they met. I bet he wanted Clare to know how to cook so that she could take care of herself after he's gone. It is heartbreaking to imagine what he felt in his last days.

A weird dream

I had a weird dream last night. I think it was a small town in China. I was on a tiny boat. There were some monks and then I realized they were with Dalai Lama. But then Dalai Lama died. I was thinking it was a big deal and I had to pass the message. But that town had no cell phone signal. The holiness was lying on a wooden board and was wearing in red. But after a while, all left is his clothes. I suppose this dream is really about the book I am reading: The Time Traveller’s Wife. Because in the novel, Henry, the time traveller, time travels and leaves everything not part of his body behind.

I hope I can dream something sensible. Why my mom always dreams things that predict something (but never lotto winning number)?